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I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
I’d like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.”
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
The word bed looks like a bed.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor