Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Long story short, I love summaries.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
As I get older my tastes are changing, for instance I used to not like brussels sprouts but now I don`t like people.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
The only way I`m coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
I would gladly believe in a religion that gives me free pizza and says people who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the center go to hell.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it reminds me of some of the drunken nights we use to have.
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.