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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
Hash browns not tags.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.