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There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
Always have a goal... Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It fills you up nicely but without the buzz.
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
gua suka sama kamu