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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.