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I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
I walked into a bar in my pirate suit and a ships wheel in my pants.... The bartender asked... "Why do you have a wheel in your pants"? I replied "Argh.. it`s driving me nuts".
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Trust me when I say anyone can dance! - Jack Daniels
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
I don´t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....