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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
My β€œI hate you” face must look a lot like my β€œI’m loving this conversation” face.
My medic alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
My anger management class pisses me off
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I’m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.