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You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
When a woman says "what?" its not because she didn`t hear you. She`s giving you a chance to change what you just said.
So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you`ve fallen off the face of the earth?
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
When my kids grow up, I’m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I’m bored & then just leave!
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said "No!". For one thing, we don`t have any kids...