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If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
My favorite beer is an open one.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.