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They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
This day is only a margarita away from being a good one.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
Being normal is boring.
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?