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Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
How does one get a nice body without moving?
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Timeouts just give children a quiet place to plot your murder.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks