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Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
Marco Polo must really hate sitting near a swimming pool.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That`s the last time we`re playing Monopoly.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me