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Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
Apparently, “I had an interview with a better company” is not an acceptable reason for being late for work.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
Last time I saw jugs that big, 2 hillbillies were blowing on them.
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.