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I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.