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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
If I told you I was a pathological liar, would you believe me?
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
When I arrive at work, how long can I spend screaming in my car before it becomes weird?
Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.