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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
On the first day of school, I tell all my students to rip up their textbooks ..then I leave before their REAL teacher arrives.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
No, I’m not funny. I’m just really mean and everyone thinks I’m joking.
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.