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Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
Without coffee, Iām just a really tall 2 year old.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.