Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
I avoid online dating sites because they match you up with people who share your interests. I don`t want to go out with a weirdo.
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.