Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I decided to go on a road trip and not come back till I ran out of money... I made it to the end of the driveway.
I don`t really understand why women are expected to be able to cook if they can give blowjobs.
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
Not quite feeling myself today. I`m going to see if booze helps...
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
Coffee`s a great way to fool yourself into believing you`re going to have a productive day.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.