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That moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor...And you don`t know whether to be proud or scared.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I`m pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.