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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
I received an email from a hacker that had accessed my bank account. It simply read, "LOL".
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.