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eBay sellers - just because you`ve dug your suit/dress out of the back of your wardrobe doesn`t make it vintage. #JustOldAndSmelly
French people give me the crepes.
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? lol jk, there`s no pizza
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.”
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.