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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It`s only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You`ll be just fine.
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?
The reason why women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants