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What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
Didn`t win the lotto again ... send prayers.
I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
Apparently my socks never remember “The Buddy System” whenever I wash them.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"