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Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
Peeing in the sink is a great time saver: no lifting the seat, no flush, sink is right there to wash hands jk I don`t wash my hands.
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.
My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed.