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Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!
Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming.
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Why can`t Mosquitos suck Fat instead of Blood!
People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
awesome collection!
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.