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I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor`s yard to cut it down is an art.
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.