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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?