Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t always play candy crush. But when I do, I have tourettes like a motherf*cker.
I made Creme Brulee today. More food should require the use of a blow torch.
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: `Why am I talking to myself?`
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
Your silent treatment should be accompanied by a disappearing act.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.