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I wish my kids came with a handbook.... Hardcover, preferably. So I have something to hit them with.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.