Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
If you are really bored, I recommend mass texting all of your exes "I`m ready to give it another shot" and then get ready for the ride of your life
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...