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Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!
There should be a law requiring the cashier to high five you every time you buy a box of condoms.
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.