Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
St. Patricks day is the only time you can ask somebody in public,"Do you want some green" without you looking suspect.
I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
Check this one out.........1
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
It`s amazing how tired I get from how little I do.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
I end a sentence with `just saying` because ending with `dumba$$` would be offensive.