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If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
Did you know statistically you`re more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a kitchen knife.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
It is amazing how quickly kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, dishwasher, or vacuum cleaner.
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.