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If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
Marriage tip: Don`t
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
Considering that dogs pee to mark territory, they probably think humans are constantly battling over who gets to claim the toilet.
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?