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Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
I leave notes on people’s windshields telling them I smashed their car and did an amazing job fixing it.
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
My ex says that he will dance on my grave. I`ve now arranged to be buried at sea
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.