Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
Depression is just your body`s way of saying it needs more orgasms.
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
a lady at the grocery store asked me, "How do I know you?"...to which I replied, "You must watch a lot of porn".
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun