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If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
Never let your printer know you`re in a rush, those bastards smell fear
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
If I`m carrying a torch for you it`s only because I want to set you on fire.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?