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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”
Why can`t we just change the spelling to fit the way it sounds: Bologna = Bolony Lasagna = lasania knife= nife tsunami = sunami politician = a$$hole