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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I`m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
"How much for the man cave?" "Sir that`s a doghouse." "Can you install cable?"
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
Why is it when I flush the toilet in the middle of the night, I have a feeling I woke up the entire neighbourhood?
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.