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If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
I live in fear that one day the real "World`s Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, where in hell did he get that idea?
I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else’s.
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macauley Culkin because I always go home alone.
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.
If you`re ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook