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Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
I thought 70 was the new 50, but the cop still gave me a ticket.
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
I was all depressed last night, so I called "Lifeline". Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
I think it`s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I`m the Problem"
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time