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Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band.
Why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
Walmart needs observation decks.
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?