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If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
i feel naked without my mobile !
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought Iād take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
Cop: Sir what is in the bottle next to you? Man: It`s water *hands the cop the bottle* Cop: Sir, this is wine. Man: Jesus did it again!