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What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
From now on when I accept a friend request I`ll just write on their wall: You belong to me now.
I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...