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I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
if you want me to go running with you, I´m going to need some motivation... Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
This status has been censored by Facebook
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...