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Sorry I stopped listening to your story when it wasn’t about me
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Plus a social media overreaction.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
Wait, whaddya mean... cookie dough can be baked? Seriously?