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So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
My day at work wasn`t easy, I just made it look that way!
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.