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Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
Finding friends with the same disorder as you... priceless!
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I`m always like, "I love you," and they`re like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that`s why he doesn`t want to shake your hand".