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Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you`re having a velociraptor.
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.