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Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
Bacon...need I say more
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.