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Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
I received an email from a hacker that had accessed my bank account. It simply read, "LOL".
It`s called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.