Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
Wouldn`t it be ironical to die in a living room?
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.