Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
People always get offended when you call their baby ugly, but they never understand that they`ve offended you by showing you an ugly baby.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
why do i feel like you are reading this
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.